Confidence is practically a must in the endeavor to live your best life and become your best self. After all, confidence is what allows us to truly thrive and go for our dreams despite our fears, and be our most authentic selves. Confidence is what allows us to be “extra” without apology, and let ourselves be a magnet for abundance. Seriously, there’s no reason why we shouldn’t all want to become more confident. Especially as we glow differently when we’re unapologetically confident, in all the best ways. That confidence radiates outward, and all the right people will notice. And the best part is, you won’t even need that external validation to notice your own glow. But it will come naturally.
With that said, building your confidence up is even easier than you might think. So there’s no reason not to take a few simple steps to get yourself glowing from the inside out. Some of which will give you an instant confidence boost in the moment. And others that will build you a strong foundation of confidence over time. Then, some of which are a mix of instant and long-term confidence boosters, the more you let yourself do them. All of which feel absolutely amazing, especially when done wholeheartedly and without any apologies. Seriously, all the more reason to make strides towards becoming your most confident self.
And in case you’re feeling any inkling of doubt about yourself. You deserve every bit of confidence that you’re looking to build, my lovely. Yes, you’re worthy of feeling confident and fully taking up that wonderful space you’re meant to take up. So let’s get you glowing, my lovely.
Stop Speaking Negatively About Yourself — Immediately
First things first, when you’re looking to build up your confidence, you absolutely have to ditch the negative self-talk. After all, you don’t want to counteract a positive message to yourself by immediately jumping in with some form of rebuttal. Nor do you want your subconscious to take a self-depracating joke to heart, and keep you stuck in a lower vibrational state. So let’s not be overly critical of ourselves when we make a mistake and talk down our worth. Let’s not be unkind to ourselves in the mirror and speak to ourselves the way we’d never speak to others. Because none of that self-deprecating nonsense is aligned with the confident person you’re becoming.
Replace those negative statements with positive affirmations that resonate with you. Start accepting compliments without feeling the need to give a rebuttal, whether internally or externally. Honestly? Give yourself some genuine compliments, and let yourself feel good about yourself. Celebrate yourself without feeling the need to tear yourself down. Let yourself radiate positivity and confidence. Speak to yourself as though you love yourself. Eventually, it will start to feel natural, my lovely. Ditching the negative self-talk is the first step towards feeling consistently confident, without having to even think about it.
Say Your Affirmations and Tap Into The Law Of Attraction
The Law of Attraction is not just for manifesting romance, connection, success, and wealth, my lovely. Certainly, it’s great for all of those wonderful things, too. But you can also manifest confidence and even radiant beauty! As a matter of fact, manifesting confidence makes manifesting everything else that you desire even easier. After all, confident people just know what they’re worthy of and what’s possible for them. So say those affirmations, my lovely. Affirm that you’re beautiful, abundant, fearless, and confident. Journal and script as though you’re a confident queen already.
And don’t forget to live as though you’re the confident queen that you are to get yourself on that glowing frequency. Wear outfits that the most confident version of you feels good in. Set up your daily routine as though you’re already “that girl” who’s living her best life. Take care of your body as though you love every aspect of your strong and gorgeous body. Stand tall, let yourself glow, and let yourself adopt the mindset of someone who radiates confidence. And eventually? Confidence will just become a natural part of your identity. And because confidence is entirely internal, it’s extremely easy to manifest.
Just don’t be surprised when other forms of abundance don’t become magnetized to you. Because it’ll happen without you even thinking much about it.
Focus On Positivity and Practice Gratitude
Certainly, life isn’t perfect, and it’s more than okay to acknowledge hardship and struggle. It’s actually healthy and necessary to work through those hard emotions. However, it also goes without saying that life isn’t all doom and gloom either. And really, there’s so much good that already exists in our lives at this current moment. And when we take a moment to zoom in on what we already have and practice gratitude, it certainly has us feeling happier. As a matter of fact, not only does practicing gratitude regularly uplift us emotionally, but it also elevates our entire lifestyle. Without us having to spend a single penny.
That said, choosing to be grateful and radiate positivity is such a wonderful feeling. Choosing positivity naturally boosts our self-esteem and undeniably gives us a radiant glow from the inside out. Especially as we begin to speak to ourselves better and romanticize our lives, rather than allowing ourselves to operate from a state of lack. And honestly? Choosing joy in a world that seems to operate on an endless cycle of negativity is a choice that is quite uplifting in itself. You already know that you’re choosing a higher frequency than a lot of the world, simply by choosing joy. And that alone is quite the confidence boost, I must say.
Honestly, grateful and happy people glow differently. Even as they take on their struggles and hardships, and honor their tougher emotions. Especially as a regular gratitude practice allows them to recognize the good in their lives, and gives them the confidence to keep moving forward.
Focus On What You Love About Yourself
We all have some amazing qualities and attributes that we can’t help but love and take a little pride in. Whether it be a physical attribute, a mental strength, a skill that we have, or whatever else, we all have something we genuinely love about ourselves. So, why not embrace everything that we love about ourselves without apology? Seriously, let yourself admire those parts of your body that you love. Let yourself take pride in your creative skills, and be proud of your intelligence. Acknowledge your resilience and your kind heart. Hype yourself up, without humbling yourself.
Honestly, I highly recommend sitting down and listing off everything that comes to mind that you love about yourself. Then keep that list accessible in your journal, or even in your phone, to read over any time you need. And remember, nothing is too deep or too superficial to add to the list. So if you love your boobs, add that to the list, and let yourself love that aspect of your beautiful body. If you’re proud of your writing or coding skills, add that to the list. And hype yourself up as an author and web developer. Are you a stylish person? Add that to the list too, and be proud of the wardrobe that you’ve built.
Leave nothing off the self-love list, my lovely. And embrace each and every amazing aspect of yourself unapologetically. Let what already exists within you help you become more confident in this very moment.
Strive For Constant Self-Improvement — Not Perfectionism
Being confident is not about believing that you’re perfect, nor is it even about striving for perfection. As a matter of fact, the most confident people always believe that there’s room for them to better themselves and always be better than they were yesterday. It’s not about believing you’re not good enough, but rather, knowing that there’s always room for growth. And that you deserve to grow and level up. Confident people love to deepen their knowledge and build their skillset. They also love to take on challenges and learn, so that they can grow and glow. They’re not afraid to make a few mistakes along the way, either.
Perfection is not the goal here. But rather, constant and consistent growth. Especially as when you take a moment to look back and see how far you’ve come, you’ll get quite the confidence boost from your own growth. So keep going on your growth path, my lovely. Keep leveling up and giving yourself even more to be proud of and love about yourself. Become kinder and more of a light to others. Grow your talents. Let yourself be better than you were a year ago, or even yesterday.
Look After Your Wellness
A huge part of how we feel both physically and emotionally comes down to the way we’re taking care of ourselves. Honestly, taking care of your body is one of the most important ways to show yourself that you love yourself on a daily basis. And when you care for your body by staying hydrated, sleeping well, eating the right foods, and giving your body what it needs, your body tends to show you that love back. As a matter of fact, taking care of your wellness is quite an underrated beauty secret that leaves you glowing without so much as a little bit of BB cream.
Seriously, the glow of healthy skin and bright eyes will have you leaving the house with just a little bit of moisturizer and rocking your natural hair. And the more you move your body, especially for non-vanity reasons, the more you’ll notice your body becoming stronger. And that your mental health is improving, alongside your confidence. That’s not even to mention the confidence boost that you’ll get from making healthier choices and practicing genuine self-love. Which absolutely includes letting yourself have cake when you have something special to celebrate. Or even having a cookie, just because.
Put Effort Into Your Appearance — Even When You’re Staying In
While looks aren’t everything, I must say, it certainly feels amazing to look good. I personally don’t like to feel as though I look frumpy, even when I’m alone in my home. Sure, I could get away with wearing mismatched pajamas and not bothering to brush my hair when I’m staying in for the day. But even if no one else will see me, I’ll be seeing myself in the mirror. And honestly, my outer appearance is also often a reflection of how I’m feeling mentally and emotionally. That said, I often find that just putting the slightest bit of effort back into myself also mirrors back into my mental and emotional state. It’s quite a quick way to start feeling a little better emotionally.
And given the fact that uplifting my mood is often as easy as putting on a cuter set of pajamas, brushing my hair, and moisturizing my skin, I must say, it’s more than worth it to put that little bit of effort into yourself. Besides, we don’t put effort into our appearance for others. We choose to look good for ourselves.
That said, you don’t necessarily have to wear your best dress and wear a full face of makeup for a movie night at home. Although you most certainly can dress up for an evening at home alone. And honestly? You should get dressed up to go nowhere in particular every once in a while. But really, all you need is a well-curated outfit, moisturized skin, and a little bit of dignity. It really doesn’t take much to ensure you always look put-together.
Heck, you may even want to run to the store in the middle of the evening. And because you already look good, you can just head out with confidence as you are.
Carry Yourself With Confidence
Not only is carrying yourself with confidence, pride, and dignity the easiest way to instantly spruce up your look, but oftentimes, merely carrying yourself with confidence helps you feel more confident. So roll those shoulders back, hold your head up high, and walk with confidence, my lovely. Not only will fixing your posture help make you look taller, more approachable, and more confident, but it will also do wonders for relieving neck and back pain. Along with helping you feel more energized as you go about your day. So pay a little mind to your posture, my lovely. Both when you’re out and about, and even when you’re working at your desk.
Admittedly, at first, we do have to be mindful of adjusting our posture. Especially if we’re so used to looking down at our phones or tablets. Or slouching at our desk, or dragging our feet as we walk. But great posture is another thing that comes naturally over time as your confidence builds. And I must say, others will notice the confidence in the way you carry your body. And you will notice it in the way you feel in your day-to-day life, and you can feel your queen energy radiating outward. It’s actually quite a way to glow up without changing anything else about yourself. Both internally and externally.
And again, your neck and back will thank you for this little confidence glow-up trick. As well as your energy levels to take on the world with confidence, poise, and fearlessness.
Have Big Aspirations and Go For Them
Confident people know that they’re meant for greatness, and they do not even let themselves think small. Let your aspirations be big, and reach for the moon. Regardless of how crazy they may seem to others, or even to yourself. There is no limit to your potential, and a big part of being confident is to let those big ideas come to life. It is those who have the confidence to bring their ideas to life and go for their biggest goals that find success. And honestly, confident people refuse not to take the opportunity to shine. Because they believe in their dreams so much that they know they’ll make them happen.
And you know what? You might be doing it scared, and that’s more than okay. Being confident isn’t about not having any doubts or fears. Confidence is about overcoming those fears and doubts and going for it anyway. And you know what? Good things come to those bold enough to do it. Even if it may take a few tries to get it right. Confident people know that the only way to succeed is to go all in. And to learn from their mistakes along the way, rather than letting them hold them back from trying again.
And the more that you see what you’re capable of, the more confident you naturally become. Especially when you look at what you’ve built for yourself. Whether you’re an aspiring entrepreneur, a content creator, or you’re looking to climb to the top of your field. Or maybe you even just want to build a great life that most people only dream about, but never take action on. And just imagine the confidence boost you’ll get from being the person who went for it.
Have Hobbies and Interests You’re Passionate About
Having hobbies and interests that you’re passionate about makes life feel so much richer and adds so much fun and excitement to life. Honestly, what would life be without something to get excited about and pass the time? Especially when we’re constantly expanding our knowledge, building our skills, finding leisure in our day-to-day lives, and even bettering ourselves through those hobbies. Not to mention that there’s so much potential to even turn our hobbies into a career. Especially in the age of content creation and online entrepreneurship.
But honestly? Even if you don’t intend to monetize your hobbies, they are more than worth having. Because not only do hobbies give you something to get excited about, but they also allow you to lean into what you’re naturally good at. And it’s such a wonderful confidence booster to feel in your element by partaking in something you’re already skilled at or knowledgeable in. Especially as your skillset expands even further, and your confidence grows even more. That said, don’t be afraid to take up new hobbies that you’re interested in as well. Because challenging yourself to take up a new skill and learn something new is essential for your growth.
And remember, hobbies and interests are meant to bring you joy. So you don’t have to take up any hobby or interest that you’re not interested in to grow. Nor do you need to pretend to be interested in something that you’re not vibing with. Embrace the hobbies and interests that speak to you, and don’t force yourself to take something up for anyone else’s acceptance. Because honestly? Leaning into what lights you up is amazing and is what will help you grow your confidence. Especially knowing you’re being authentic in embracing what matters to you.
Always Be Curious And Keep Learning
It’s human nature to be curious. Honestly, we all have at least one or two things that we’re genuinely curious about and want to know more about. Perhaps, there’s a language that sounds absolutely lovely to us, and we want to be able to understand what’s being said. Maybe we’ve always had an interest in a particular skill, and we want to try it for ourselves. Maybe there’s a public figure we want to know more about. Or we simply have a curiosity about a certain topic. Whatever it is, why shouldn’t we let ourselves explore it? Especially with how accessible information is in the days of the internet.
Whether it’s an existing interest we want to expand our knowledge on, or a curiosity that popped into our brains at 3:00 AM on a random Wednesday, why not dive into it? Especially as there are so many things to learn about. And our brains have almost unlimited capacity for what we can learn. So Google those random questions that you have, and do a deep dive. Watch some tutorials on a skill you’re interested in, buy a few materials to get yourself started, if you need them, and try it out for yourself. Read some books on something that you’re interested in.
Because honestly? Having this knowledge will give you something to take pride in. And another amazing thing to be confident about. Plus, learning about something you’re genuinely interested in, when you’re not being graded, is such a fun way to elevate your lifestyle and expand your horizons.
Honor Your Commitments
Honoring your word and the commitments you’ve made is so important, my lovely. I know that goes without saying, as we don’t want to let others down, but let’s also remember that this includes our commitments to ourselves. Along with the commitments we make in our work and with our loved ones, whenever life allows. And honestly, even when life gets hectic, it’s important to find a way to make it work, unless it’s drastically unaligned with you. Even if that means pushing back deadlines and switching up the plan. What really matters isn’t necessarily the how, but the intent to honor your word.
Integrity and dignity are crucial parts of building up your confidence. Whether your commitments are to others or to yourself. Heck, you know more than anyone else when you’re not sticking to your commitments to yourself. And that inner voice will remind you until you do something about it. Plus, nothing is worse than trying to come up with an excuse as to why you’re not honoring what you’ve committed to. Whether it’s showing up for yoga class with your friends, or launching that business you told yourself you were launching this year. So, unless there’s a legitimate reason not to honor your word, show up for yourself and others.
And please, only commit to things that you’re comfortable committing to and that feel aligned with you. Only commit to what you know that you can reasonably commit to without overextending yourself. And don’t be afraid to say no to commitments you don’t truly want to take on. Boundaries matter big time here.
Have Strong Boundaries and High Standards
Confident people always have strong boundaries and high standards for who and what they allow to come into their lives. After all, they know what they are worthy of, and they won’t accept anything less. They don’t allow others to mistreat them or make them feel uncomfortable, just to keep them in their lives. Nor do they put themselves into any situation where they’re being overextended or where their energy is being unnecessarily drained. Confident people know that they have the power to say no to what isn’t aligned with them, and they respect themselves enough not to let any form of boundary crossing slide. Including boundaries they’ve set with themselves.
With that in mind, confident people are not afraid to kindly make their boundaries known, as well as their expectations. Certainly, necessary compromises and understanding come into play when it comes to some of their relationships with others. But they also know when it’s time to sever ties with friends or partners who aren’t respecting their boundaries. Confident people know their worth isn’t defined by having a partner or a large friend group, and would rather be a bit of a lone wolf than allow their boundaries to be crossed.
With that said, confident people also have strong boundaries with work. They don’t take on extra shifts or projects when they’re drained or at capacity. They prioritize self-care and their own well-being over someone else’s expectations. And you know what? They also know when to walk away from a toxic workplace. Or a job that isn’t aligned with them. Because they know their time and energy is better used elsewhere.
Let Go Of What You Can’t Control or Change
Problem-solving is a wonderful skill to have, and honestly, it’s wonderful to problem-solve whenever you can. However, it’s important to understand that we are not always in control when it comes to external factors. And in reality, we’re not meant to fix everything, especially when we know we’re not really in control. In the same way that we can’t control the weather, we have no control over anyone but ourselves. Nor are we responsible for how anything externally unfolds in the world around us. And you know what? We have to be okay with letting things be, without taking responsibility for what wasn’t even ours to carry.
Whether or not someone else likes you is not your decision, my lovely. If someone doesn’t like you when you’re being your authentic self, let them dislike you. It’s their issue, not yours. And don’t for a second think you’re responsible for fixing someone else’s life when they won’t put in the work to help themselves. As a lifestyle coach, I can tell you that you can only coach someone who wants to change their life for the better when they’re ready. And remember, you can’t change the entire world, my lovely. You can only truly change how you react to certain situations and how you choose to live your life.
Certainly, you should strive to change what you can. But you also need to know when to let go and let the universe handle it. And honestly? Deep down, you know what you can and can’t change. Your intuition knows what isn’t a personal failure on your part, and what you can confidently say wasn’t yours to handle anyway. So let it be, instead of trying to place any external blame on yourself.
Walk Away From What Isn’t Serving You
We all need to start walking away from what doesn’t serve us and what we’re not aligned with. Because not only does letting go of what doesn’t serve us make room to manifest what we’re aligned with, but it also gets us out of situations that are dimming our light. And honestly? Being in the wrong job, surrounded by the wrong friends, with the wrong partner, or even living in the wrong town can do a number on your confidence. No matter what, it’ll always feel like you’re either not enough, too much, or even both. When in reality, you’re actually just misaligned, and pouring your energy into the wrong things or the wrong people.
And honestly? Confident people know when something isn’t serving them, and that they can do infinitely better. They also value their time, energy, and worth too much to stay where they’re not being served. They walk away, and they don’t ever look back. Because they know that walking away, slamming the door shut, and throwing away the key is the first step towards getting on the aligned path.
Confident queens will quit their 9 to 5 when they know they’re meant for the entrepreneurial path, once the time becomes right. They won’t stay with a partner with whom they have to walk on eggshells to keep happy. And they know when the town they grew up in isn’t meant to be their forever home. They take calculated and intuitive steps to move towards what will serve them. And what will build them up, instead of dimming their light.
Always Be Kind To Others
Let’s be honest, there’s really no good reason not to be kind to others. But really, unkind people are just insecure people projecting their own insecurities and unhappiness onto others. Confident people know that knocking down someone else’s crown won’t straighten their own. They know that tearing other people down won’t lift them up. Nor will pointing out someone else’s flaws help with their own insecurities. As a matter of fact, confident queens know that lifting others up is actually the way to build themselves up, along with those around them. They know that confidence, abundance, and joy are infinite, and they want to spread the wealth.
Confidence doesn’t see anyone else’s light as a threat, but rather, something that deserves to shine even brighter. Confident people love to give others genuine compliments and celebrate the wins of others. Because they know they’re just as amazing, and success is just as possible for them. And honestly, seeing others win is proof of what’s possible. Since we all know that other people’s successes are not our failures.
Queens walk with their head high and help others adjust their crown. They treat everyone with kindness and respect, whether it be their friends and loved ones or a stranger at the grocery store. Even when that kindness comes in the form of compassionate silence for the unhappy person who decided to yell at them in the produce aisle. Or flipped them the bird for passing them on the highway. Because they know that what insecure and unhappy people need the most is kindness and grace.
Pamper Yourself Often
Honestly, who doesn’t love to treat themselves? That said, confident people know that they don’t need to earn the right to relax and pamper themselves. They know that they’re more than worthy of a luxurious bath and a cup of herbal tea without needing to feel as though they need permission. Plus, they know that rest and rejuvenation are exactly what they need to uplift themselves when they’re feeling sluggish on a Thursday evening. So, if applying that undereye mask is what a confident queen is craving? She will do just that as she sits down and plays her favorite cozy game. Or reads a book that caught her interest.
Confident queens know that filling their own cup is important and a necessary part of their self-care. They know that they deserve a treat, just because they’re human, and they showed up today. They know they’ve done enough to give themselves a break to do their nails, as they watch their favorite series on Netflix or Hulu. Especially when they know that freshly done nails will give them a confidence boost. Along with applying that moisturizing hair mask and buying themselves that dress that’s been on their wishlist for a year. And they’ll wear that dress on a random Monday, just because they feel confident in it. And because they know that life is the special occasion.
Spend More Time Offline
Social media and the internet as a whole are wonderful in so many ways. They are highly valuable tools for connection, exploring the world outside our hometown, expanding our interests, and enriching our minds. When used mindfully, I actually believe that they’re useful in building up your confidence and enriching your life. However, these same tools can quickly become harmful when we fall down the wrong rabbit holes or when they’re overused. What is intended to inspire us can quickly cause us to compare ourselves to others. Even when we know that social media is largely a highlight reel. And most people aren’t sharing the mundane and less aesthetic bits of their lives on Instagram.
Besides, we all need to take a moment to experience real life and detox from our screens. Including the TV. Because there is so much to be experienced when we unplug and ground ourselves in reality. There is so much joy in letting yourself be a human being, without constant notifications and endless sensory input. And honestly? Taking time off from the screens will even help extend your attention span. While allowing you to just be yourself, without having to feel the need to perform for social media. And going offline gives you the chance to make your own memories, instead of watching someone else’s life on Facebook.
Plus, you don’t have to deal with internet trolls trying to dig at you when your phone is on Do Not Disturb, and you’re coloring in a cozy coloring book. So, no dealing with anyone projecting their insecurities upon you from their basement when you’re disconnected.
Live For Yourself — Not For Their Validation
True confidence is not about influencing what others think about you. As a matter of fact, truly confident people are okay with being disliked for being their authentic selves. Because not only do they know that their true tribe will find them, but they’re not out for anyone else’s validation. All that matters to them is that they’re being authentic to who they are, and they’re aligned with what they’re meant to be. Confident people don’t chase status to prove their worth or to please anyone else. They already know their worth without the validation from their parents, peers, or random strangers.
Confident people are comfortable with who they are. They believe in their vision, even when no one else does. They choose to grow and better themselves for themselves. Not to win over some girl or some guy, or to fit into any social circle. They choose the career path that feels aligned with them, not the job title that will make their family proud. They don’t follow trends to fit in; they express themselves in a way that feels authentic to who they are. Nor do they care to follow societal norms to make anyone else comfortable.
Certainly, their intent isn’t to step on anyone’s toes. But when someone tries to get them to fit into their box, they’ll kindly tell them where they can shove that box through the way they continue to thrive.
Conclusion
Confidence is an essential part of personal growth, and allowing yourself to live authentically as your best self. Conversely, being authentic and allowing your true self to shine is how you become more confident. Honestly, confidence comes when you stop performing and stop living for anyone else’s validation. While knowing that your glow will attract the right people, the right opportunities, and infinite abundance.
And let’s not get it twisted, confidence is not cockiness or self-righteousness. Confident people strive for constant growth and get excited about being better than they were yesterday. And they don’t believe they’re better than anyone else, because they see the value in everyone around them. Plus, confident people aren’t threatened by someone else’s light. They’re inspired by it.
What helps you to feel more confident? What are you most confident in about yourself? How do you like to build confidence in yourself and others? Your inspirational comments are more than welcome. Let’s build ourselves and each other up like the confident queens we all are.
Very good blog post, full of helpful tips!
These are just perfect and on point. Positivity, gratitude, amd loving oneself are among my favourites.