We all know “that girl” has quite a productive and self-care-focused morning routine. She starts her day off with healthy habits, mindfulness, and a bit of leisure to set the tone for a great day. Whatever it may entail for “that girl”, her morning routine is set up to help her feel her best as she prepares for her day. We all know that she has various elements in place to feel her best in the earliest hours of her day. But honestly? The most important part of her morning routine isn’t what happens after she wakes up in the morning. It’s what she does before she goes to bed at night, as a part of her evening routine.
But honestly, we already know “that girl” has quite a relaxing evening routine. When we think of “that girl’s” evening routine, we often think of quite an extensive self-care routine. We think of the girl who kicks off her evening with a relaxing bath and/or an everything shower. She likely has quite an elaborate evening skincare routine that she goes about slowly and mindfully. She’s simply enjoying some leisure time as she also prepares for the next day. All while avoiding using her phone to minimize her evening blue-light exposure.
And after all of that, she’s always in bed before 10:00 PM. Quickly able to fall asleep and sleep peacefully through the night. It sounds quite lovely, doesn’t it? Or at least most of it does.
Certainly, not every part of her evening routine will work for us. Nor do we all need a 3-hour-long wind-down routine. So it goes without saying that we want to set up an evening routine that works specifically for us. Because being “that girl” is about thriving in what works best for you.
Choosing Your “Wind Down” Time and Your Bedtime
Just as you should be striving to wake up at the same time every morning, you should also be going to bed around the same time every night. With that said, while it’s highly understandable if you have a different wakeup time for work days versus your days off, your bedtime should generally be the same every night. After all, if we really want to sleep in on the weekends, it makes sense to truly give ourselves those extra few hours of sleep. Besides, consistency is key in building any sort of routine. Especially with one as vital as an evening routine.
Honestly, I seldom have a genuinely good reason to stay up any later than 30 minutes beyond my typical bedtime. Even when I’m treating myself to a night of gaming before a day off work. Or when I’m trying to finish up on a piece of content. Especially as those activities stimulate my mind a bit too much and make it hard to sleep afterward. Whilst disrupting my wind-down routine. Which is why I also like to eliminate or minimize screen use after my set wind-down time. Which I like to set to start about two to three hours before I intend to go to bed.
To use myself as an example, I like to get into bed and start drifting off to sleep around 10:00 PM. So I set my wind-down time to begin around 7:30 PM. That way, I have plenty of time to go about my full evening routine, with no need to rush anything. Especially as we want our evenings to be calm, rather than rushed. That way, sleep comes easier when we shut out our lights for the night.
Choosing Your Bedtime
While getting into bed, shutting out the lights, and falling asleep is the final step in your evening routine, it’s the main event of your evening routine. So let’s first settle on a bedtime that we’ll stick with on a nightly basis. And as adults, we have the power to choose the bedtime that suits us the best. No one is telling us that we need to be in bed by 9:00 PM if our bodies won’t let us sleep that early. Although we do also need to consider our wake-up time, and be sure that we’re giving ourselves 7 to 9 hours of sleep. So we may need to compromise slightly on our natural circadian rhythm if we have to be up early for work or school.
To use myself as an example, I wake up around 5:15 AM on my work days. That said, my body tends to prefer to go to sleep around 11:00 PM, but I’ve set my bedtime back to 10:00 PM. That way, I can still get 7 hours of sleep on my work nights. Without trying to go to bed hours before my body and mind are typically ready for sleep. 9:00 PM never worked for me as a child, and it doesn’t work for me to this day. And just like “that girl,” I’m not going to force myself to stare at the ceiling for hours, hoping to fall asleep.
Of course, this will all depend on you, your schedule, your needs, and your preferences. No one knows you better than yourself, so the only one who can determine your best bedtime is, well, you! Maybe for you, the perfect bedtime is 9:00 PM, or maybe even earlier.
Choosing Your “Wind Down” Time
Seldom can I jump straight from work mode, creative mode, or even gaming mode into sleeping mode. Even if I’m feeling super sleepy, I typically can not expect myself to fall asleep as if I wasn’t just completely focused on something moments before hopping into bed. Nor can I relax if I try to cram my entire evening routine into a 30-minute period. Rushing through my evening skincare routine and cutting corners on all aspects of my evening routine is not relaxing at all. And it never feels good to nix parts of my evening routine that are personally essential to me. Especially not when I’ve chosen work or screentime over my own evening self-care.
That is why it is so important to not only set a consistent bedtime but also to set a consistent wind-down time. In other words, you want to set a time for your evening routine to begin. A time to step away from all of your work and creative projects for the evening, and to start minimizing your screen time. A time to start focusing on relaxation and self-care, and prioritize sleep. Because seldom is there anything more important than getting a restful night’s sleep. Besides, you’ve earned this time to relax, my lovely.
As I said before, I like to start my evening routine about two to three hours before bed. That way, I’m never rushing through my bedtime routine, and I have plenty of downtime before bed. However, you may find that an hour is sufficient for you. Or conversely, you may even need more time than I do. And guess what? That is perfectly okay. This is all about setting up the best wind-down routine for you. And you should never cut corners on what helps you thrive.
The 4 Elements to Cover in Your “That Girl” Evening Routine
When you think of “that girl’s” evening routine, you likely think of a routine that’s quite aesthetic and may even seem like a bit of a spa evening. And certainly, her evening routine is set up to help her feel some good vibes, pamper herself, and end her day on a positive note. Her evening routine can certainly seem quite aesthetic. But just like with her morning routine, the steps in “that girl’s” evening routine aren’t just there for the vibes. Her evening routine is specifically curated to help her meet all of her mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual needs before she closes her eyes for the night.
“That girl” strives to set herself up for a wonderful night’s rest. Without continuing to carry the weight of the day thus far. As well as without having to worry about what’s happening tomorrow. She allows time for peaceful leisure and mindfulness so that she can quiet her mind for sleep, so she isn’t kept up all night by her thoughts. And those self-pampering spa sessions help her wake feeling refreshed the next day. Everything in “that girl’s” evening routine serves a purpose for her. After all, she’s all about thriving. Because when she’s thriving, she’s naturally vibing.
1 — Self-Pampering and Self-Care
Self-care is an essential part of living our best lives, and there is nothing selfish about it. Honestly, we should all be pampering ourselves a little bit every evening before we go to sleep. Maybe we don’t need to have a full spa night every evening, but we could certainly benefit from taking the time to be more mindful with our skin and haircare routines. Especially as a little extra self-pampering at night helps us look extra gorgeous with very little effort in the morning.
That said, evening self-care and pampering isn’t just about looking great, but also feeling great as you nod off to sleep. An evening stretch or yoga routine also makes for a wonderful self-care step to include in your evening routine. And preparing a cup of sleepy time tea to enjoy as you go about your evening? It makes your self-pampering session that much more enjoyable and calming.
2 — Mindfulness
Honestly, most of us can agree that the number one thing that keeps us up at night is our own minds. Which is why “that girl” takes the time every evening to clear her head before she heads to bed. Certainly, she doesn’t ignore her thoughts, but she pours them out onto paper rather than carrying them to bed with her. She also tends to focus on the positive aspects of her day, rather than dwelling on the negative. Perhaps, she even uses tarot or oracle cards to guide her reflective moments in the evening. And before she lies down for the night, she gives herself a moment to sit in silence and just breathe.
3 — Preparations for the Next Day
It’s important to have a plan for the next day and to take it into consideration. That said, it can sometimes be hard to fall asleep when you’re lying in bed trying to figure out what you want to wear tomorrow. Or you’re hoping that you’ll remember to send that email tomorrow. This is why “that girl” often does the vast majority of her planning for the next day as a part of her evening routine. She gets her outfit laid out long before she heads to bed. She writes down tomorrow’s to-do list so she doesn’t have to try to remember anything overnight. “That girl” gets everything in order before she gets into bed, so she doesn’t have to keep thinking about it.
Honestly, she may have even planned these things in advance, on a weekly basis. Then all she has to do is get everything set out and ready at night.
4 — Calming Leisure Time
Life is too short not to enjoy it as much as you possibly can. That said, a bit of calming leisure time is a non-negotiable in my evening routine. That said, your evening leisure activities shouldn’t be too thought-provoking or stimulating. Personally, I like to lean in to calming activities such as coloring and reading non-fiction in the evenings. Or something a bit boring, but still enjoyable. That said, it’s highly preferable to avoid screens in the evening, but watching ASMR is a great way to unwind in the evening. Heck, sometimes I like to put on long-form content that I’ll likely zone out from, and even fall asleep watching at night.
We all deserve to have a little enjoyment and something to look forward to at the end of the day. Certainly, we don’t want to overstimulate ourselves right before we shut our eyes. But it’s wonderful to lean in to some slightly boring, yet enjoyable, activities.
Planning Out Your Evening Routine
Certainly, you want to curate an evening routine that meets all of your personal needs, while also being sustainable for you. You don’t want to make your evening routine so overwhelmingly extensive that it’s a struggle to get through every evening. Nor do you ever feel as though you’re rushing through the evening. Especially as evenings are particularly meant to be romanticized, so that you can enjoy the smallest of moments before bed. Your evening routine shouldn’t merely feel like a chore, nor should anything that doesn’t enrich your life be a regular part of it.
That said, you also want to have a little room for flexibility in your evening routine. You may have a lot of different things you’d like to include in your evening routine, but you know it’s not sustainable to do all of them every night. Besides, you also want to be able to switch up your routine slightly. Perhaps rotating through different evening activities throughout the week. That way, your evening routine doesn’t begin to feel stale. Maybe one night, you want to read a book by an inspiring author as you enjoy a relaxing sheet mask treatment. Then, the next, you want to color a page from your cute and cozy coloring book. You get the idea.
As long as your basics and essentials are always covered, it can be wonderful to be able to switch things up from day to day. That way, you can do all the things! Without always doing all the things.
What are Your Evening Essentials?
Are there any tasks that you absolutely have to do at night? I’m talking both objectively and subjectively. Because we all have our personal “musts” in our evening routine that we just don’t feel like our best selves if we skip. They may even have an adverse effect on our sleep if we skip them, just because we don’t feel like doing them. I think you get what I mean. But with that said, we also all have things we objectively need to do before we go to sleep at night. Such as charging your devices, or making sure they have enough battery to make it through the next day.
Our evening essentials are the tasks that we absolutely have to do every evening. Regardless of how tired we are. Or no matter what the day may have thrown at us, or the mood we’re in. Of course, this will vary from person to person, as we’re all unique and have our own needs and goals. And “that girl” knows what her evening essentials are, and she makes them her top priorities in her evening routine. They’re hard-wired as a part of her evening routine, and she sets up her evening routine so that there is no excuse to skip them. Even when she’s exhausted and in a terrible mood, she doesn’t cut corners on her needs in the evening.
And I’m not going to lie to you, sometimes I do find myself attempting to skip my evening essentials because I’m “so tired” from a chaotic work day. Then I’ll find myself struggling to sleep because I couldn’t be bothered to put in that little extra bit of effort to properly care for myself before bed. Then I’m both tired and restless.
Laying Out Your Evening Routine
In all honesty, there is no right or wrong way to lay out your evening routine. Although I personally prefer to do the least relaxing bits of my evening routine first. That way, I don’t have to worry about writing out my to-do list and tidying my desk after my nice hot shower. Likewise, other people may prefer to do their evening stretches on their yoga mat before they do their evening skincare routine. Personal preference matters when it comes to setting up your evening routine. Which is why “that girl” lays out her evening in the way that makes the most sense for her. And all of us should do the same for ourselves!
All that truly matters is that all of your evening essentials are covered in your evening routine. And that you’re covering all four aspects that we covered previously in this post. Namely, self-pampering, mindfulness, preparing yourself for the next day, and having a bit of leisure time. The order of your evening routine doesn’t matter that much. Just do what feels the most natural to you, and go with your own flow. While also being flexible and allowing space for a bit of trial and error until you get it just right.
My evening routine; to give you a little inspiration.
Keep in mind that this is the evening that specifically works the best for me. You are strongly encouraged to switch it up, swap things out, and even nix the parts that aren’t for you. We’re looking to create a routine that works for you, my lovely.
If you’d like a little extra guidance in putting together your evening routine, I have a free worksheet available for subscribers of my email newsletter, Stidefully Magazine. I also have a similar one that you can use to set up your morning routine, which subscribers can also grab. Alonside various other free printables!
Conclusion
Being “that girl” is honestly just about living your best life and thriving as your best self. It’s not about meditating for an hour every evening and completely cutting screentime after sunset. Nor is it about going to bed at a certain time or having an extensive evening routine. Especially when a lot of the steps you’re adding to your evening routine have little relevance to you or your dream life. Please, give yourself permission to set up your evening routine in the way that works best for you. Honestly, this is all about setting you up for a lovely night’s rest. And doing what’s best for you to achieve a lovely night’s rest is what makes you “that girl”.
What does your evening routine look like? What is your favorite part of your evening routine? Do you like to go screen-free in your wind-down time, or do you prefer to watch something calming as you prepare for bed? What is your ideal bedtime? I’d love to hear from you! You never know who your evening routine might inspire.
This is some excellent advice! I just need to learn to leave the phone in the other room to truly relax before sleep!
It can be really hard to stay off your phone in the hours before bed, and putting it in another room certainly eases the temptation to pick it up!
I personally put mine on a wireless charger on my desk, where I won’t be able to reach it (or even see it) in bed.
I also find that the “Do Not Disturb” and “Sleep” focus modes are wonderful in the evenings, so you won’t hear notifications and be tempted to check your phone once you set it down for the evening.
Thank you for reading, Elizabeth!
Absolutely agree! 💖 Being “that girl” isn’t about following a perfect routine — it’s about creating a life that feels right for you. It’s more about self-awareness, balance, and doing what genuinely makes you happy, not what looks good online. ✨