Love can be quite complicated, especially romantic love. And holidays that put an emphasis on love, such as Valentine’s Day, can be quite challenging to navigate. Especially if you’re dealing with heartbreak or you’re in an unhappy relationship, and you’re on the fence about leaving. Even when you’re happily single, Valentine’s Day has a way of bringing up some pangs of longing. Plus, it’s not just romantic love that can be tricky. If you recently went through a friendship breakup, Galentine’s Day can bring up the same types of emotions. Valentine’s Day can be tricky for a plethora of reasons, which is why it’s so important to have a self-care plan in place for February 14th.
I also must say, making Valentine’s Day a day to practice self-care and focus on self-love actually makes it much more enjoyable. Once you take the pressure off romance, there’s actually a lot to love about Valentine’s Day. After all, holidays like Valentine’s Day are meant to be fun and put an emphasis on all types of love. Which includes self-love, friendship, and family bonds, not just romantic love. Valentine’s Day is not exclusively for couples, my lovely. Heck, Valentine’s Day isn’t even exclusively about the love we share for others at all. And no matter how we may feel about Valentine’s Day, we’d actually be doing ourselves a disservice by not making it about self-love and self-care.
Besides, we shouldn’t be dreading a day on the calendar just because of what it may represent. Especially when we can turn it on its head and turn Valentine’s Day into something empowering. Perhaps, it can be the day we reclaim our queen (or king) energy. Or the day when we close an old chapter for good. Or even just love ourselves unapologetically.
Do Not Check In On Exes or Contact Them — Including Ex-Friends
Listen, my lovely, some people are meant to stay in our past, no matter how much they meant to us at one point. Oftentimes, we even know we’re better off not talking to them, or even knowing what’s going on in their lives. Heck, it’s often a relief to have some friends and lovers not be in our physical, digital, or mental space. But sometimes loneliness or even discomfort can lead us to seek companionship or nostalgia where we absolutely should not. Especially on holidays that focus on companionship, such as Valentine’s Day.
Certainly, it’s understandable that you might have some fond memories of your ex-lover or friend. After all, they were someone you once chose to have in your life for a reason. But remember, there’s also a reason why they’re not in your life anymore. And it’s important not to act out of loneliness or nostalgia when it comes to who you give your energy to. You don’t want to open the door for them to be back in your life, just because you were lonely or uncomfortable on Valentine’s Day. Or any day for the matter. And quite honestly, you may not even want to know what they’re currently up to. So, please, don’t even take a peek at their social media.
Even in the case where there is nuance and a chance for healthy reconnection, Valentine’s Day just isn’t the day for it. Especially as the holiday can lead to more emotionally impulsive decisions from both sides. So, please, don’t send your ex-partner a message on Valentine’s Day. And don’t respond to their text on February 14th if you do happen to get one. The same goes for ex-friends when it comes to Galentine’s Day. Because some people truly do belong in the past.
Minimize Social Media Use On Valentine’s Day
Social media is wonderful in so many ways, especially if you’re the creative or entrepreneurial type. It also helps keep us connected with friends and loved ones. I’m not about to completely demonize social media. However, while we all logically know that social media is often a highlight reel, it can still lead us to feel the pang of comparison. Especially when it feels like everyone is posting extravagant dates and even engagement announcements on February 14th. It can admittedly sting when you’re struggling romantically to be bombarded with posts and reels from seemingly happy couples. Or Galentine’s Day outings after you removed yourself from a toxic friend group.
Heck, even when you’re in a happy relationship, you may even feel a little bit of FOMO when your partner shows their love in quieter and subtler ways. Even if your partner is consistently showing up in the same loving way every day. Not just on February 14th.
Honestly, no matter what your relationship status is or how you feel about Valentine’s Day, I highly recommend taking a digital detox day as an act of self-care. Or at least, minimize your use of social media, and maybe play some cozy games instead. You don’t need to inadvertently end up comparing your love life or social life to anyone else’s. Plus, getting off social media also reduces the temptation to reach out to ex-lovers and ex-friends. Besides, it’s actually so beneficial for us to unplug from time to time anyway. So why not make Valentine’s Day a time to unplug for the sake of self-care, along with protecting your peace?
Make Valentine’s Day More About Self-Love and Self-Care
Valentine’s Day is all about honoring and celebrating love, and that includes self-love. And you know what? Self-love is actually the most important love to nurture, as it actually has quite an impact on all of our relationships. Not to mention that self-love lays the foundation for our lives as a whole, as we manifest better things when we truly love ourselves. So let’s actually use Valentine’s Day as a scheduled day to dive deep into self-love and make it a day of self-care. Let Valentine’s Day be the day that you go above and beyond for yourself, and truly spoil yourself and indulge in what brings you joy.
Seriously, take yourself on a date to that tea house and buy yourself flowers. Let yourself get all glammed up just because you can, and enjoy some chocolate-covered strawberries. There are so many ways you can honor self-love on Valentine’s Day and make it a meaningful day of self-care. Honestly, Valentine’s Day is a wonderful day to commit to loving yourself and choosing yourself again after a breakup. Or perhaps, choosing to see the beauty in yourself if you struggle to love yourself. Perhaps you can let Valentine’s Day be the day you commit to building your confidence and start letting yourself be unapologetically extra.
Celebrate Non-Romantic Forms Of Love On Valentine’s Day
It goes without saying that romantic love is not the only type of love that there is. Nor is it the only type of love that should be honored and celebrated on Valentine’s Day. As a matter of fact, we truly should be making an effort to celebrate friendship and family on Valentine’s Day. After all, there’s a special type of love that we often have for our friends and our chosen family. The same goes for siblings, parents, grandparents, and children if we have them. Heck, I personally find that sisters, mothers, grandmothers, and daughters are meant to be included in Galentine’s Day. Because these are all bonds that matter just as much as romantic love.
You don’t need to be in a romantic relationship to love and to be deeply loved. Especially when you are free to be your most authentic self with those you love the most and choose to have in your life. Including those who may live far away, or you may have met online. Your connection is very real and meaningful, my lovely. So celebrate all of the people you love and cherish. Let Valentine’s Day be a day to show gratitude for those bonds and nurture them a little more. All of them are more than worth celebrating. No form of love is greater or lesser than another, my lovely.
Let Yourself Feel Your Difficult Emotions — In A Healthy Way
While I do strive to infuse more positivity into my life and find joy in life, I am vehemently against not allowing all emotions to be felt. Which includes negative, complex, or difficult emotions. As a matter of fact, letting yourself be angry, sad, and frustrated is an essential part of the healing process. Sometimes, you have to sit with your loneliness or heartache to actually heal from it. Rather than compressing it into a little box and slapping a band-aid on it. So you know what? If you’re sad or lonely on Valentine’s Day, let yourself feel it. Let yourself feel frustrated, angry, and heartbroken all at the same time without trying to force a smile. And let yourself express it in a healthy way.
Journal about your raw emotions. Write that letter you don’t send to your ex-lover or ex-best friend. Listen to a playlist that helps the tears flow. Let yourself vent to someone you trust. Cry on your bedroom floor if you need to, and just sit with your emotions. Punch a soft inanimate object. Do a high-intensity workout and pretend you’re kicking or punching your struggles in the face. Honestly, as long as you’re not hurting yourself or others, let yourself feel and express your emotions however feels good for you.
It may be uncomfortable, I’m not going to lie. But honestly, letting those emotions stay bottled up is even more uncomfortable, just maybe to a lesser degree, until they crop up at the most inconvenient of times. And honestly? Those emotions you never allow yourself to fully feel always feel heavy, as they never go away until they’re properly acknowledged.
Do Not Neglect Your Needs or Mistreat Yourself
One thing we’re absolutely not going to do on Valentine’s Day is mistreat ourselves and neglect our needs. We are not going to skip meals, neglect to stay hydrated, throw our sleep schedule off, or otherwise neglect our wellness. We’re taking care of ourselves, no matter how we feel emotionally. That said, we’re also not going to say a single negative word to ourselves. We’re only speaking to ourselves in a way that’s positive and uplifting. Negative self-talk is not allowed on Valentine’s Day, or any day for that matter. We’re not going to beat ourselves up for being single. Or for not leaving that unhappy relationship yet.
That said, we’re also not going to blame ourselves for friendships and relationships that didn’t work out. Instead, we’re going to be actively working to elevate our lives and become the best versions of ourselves that we can be. We’re moving our bodies in ways that feel good, for the right reasons. We’re nourishing our bodies with good food, while also allowing for some delightful indulgences. Especially on Valentine’s Day. Honestly, Valentine’s Day is our day to go all-in on practicing self-care and deepening our self-love. And doing nothing but kind and caring things for ourselves. We’re setting clear boundaries and saying no to everything that crosses those boundaries.
Find The Positives For Where You’re At In Life — And Use Humor
While it’s okay to feel some difficult and challenging emotions on Valentine’s Day, it’s also important to remember the positives of where we’re at in life. Certainly, it can feel lonely to be single on Valentine’s Day, but that loneliness is a side-effect of our peace. And you know what? That loneliness also gives us freedom to be our most authentic selves and grow as individuals. Without having to tone ourselves down to keep someone else’s ego comfortable. Be it an ex-lover or an envious ex-friend. There are so many reasons to enjoy being single or to enjoy your time as a lone wolf. Being alone isn’t something to fear, my lovely.
Let yourself find some humor in your situation as well. Find relief in the fact that you’re no longer mothering an adult man or woman who can’t regulate their own emotions. And you know what? Let yourself do that thing that they didn’t want to do. Like, posting those empowering messages on social media. Or wearing that one outfit and going out with your besties on a Saturday night for pizza. Seriously, your single days are something to be cherished and enjoyed. Especially when you’re free from someone else’s chaos.
That said, even if you’re still craving a loving relationship, guess what? You’re free to attract the right person. Without the wrong person being in the way when you meet your soulmate. Who, by the way, will bring nothing but peace into your life, not chaos like your ex.
Conclusion
While Valentine’s Day isn’t exclusively about romantic love, it can certainly bring up some complicated emotions if your romantic life is complicated. Heck, it can even bring up those same emotions if you’re going through a friendship breakup. And you know what? You don’t have to fight those difficult or challenging emotions you may have surrounding Valentine’s Day. As a matter of fact, letting yourself feel them actually prevents them from consuming you. Especially when you practice self-care and give yourself some grace as you navigate Valentine’s Day. And honestly, it can be quite empowering in the process, as you turn this holiday on its head.
What are some of your favorite ways to empower yourself on Valentine’s Day? How have you navigated emotionally difficult Valentine’s Days in the past? Do you actually prefer being single on Valentine’s Day or in general? What are some of your favorite ways to embrace self-love and practice self-love on Valentine’s Day? I’d love to hear from you!
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